Forgiving Others and Ourselves

Forgiveness is one of the most important emotions we need to master in order to heal. This, I know, is easier said than done for many people. Some of us have experienced the unthinkable. There are cases of physical, verbal or sexual abuse that are so traumatic that it is hard to get out of that space of anger. Some people have hurt us on such a deep emotional, physical or mental level that it is extremely difficult to let go of that pain. However, if we focus on that word “pain” for a minute we can discover something. Pain can be interpreted as an emotion of suffering or it can be described as a physical sensation in our body. Both are validated and both are DETRIMENTAL to our health! When we hold on to that anger, hurt or resentment from what another person did to us it can sometimes manifest into physical pain or ailments. I will use myself as an example.

I struggled with back pain for years. I would always complain about my pain and question why it was happening to me. I couldn’t understand why I was so young and dealing with the back of a 90 year old ex mason worker. Through my practice of transcendental meditation, reiki and many different types of spiritual work, I became aware that I was carrying unforgiving emotions around with me. I wasn’t letting go of the pain that people from my past have caused. This manifested into my physical body and caused me much distress. Now granted, my pain became so bad I wasn’t acknowledging it or taking care of it. I lived with it for so long that I started to grow numb to it. It’s almost like I was ignoring it. I was hurt from what others did to me and skipped along the path of heavy drinking and seeking self worth in men that were only looking to take advantage of me. This behavior of “self medicating” and the action of me trying to numb my pain with self destructive behavior eventually ended with me throwing my back out and causing a disk protrusion. With this injury, I have to be careful and if I strain my back too much I have to manage my pain with physical therapy exercises and other body care methods BUT it no longer lingers every day from carrying anger. I learned how to treat the pain. By being conscious and proactive with my health I have allowed the path of forgiving those who have hurt me into my life. After doing so, so much of that pain has been lifted. The benefits of letting go and releasing anger and resentment are nothing short of a miracle. Forgiveness creates balance and wellness into our body mind and spirit.

I want to be very clear about something on the topic of forgiveness. It doesn’t mean what someone did to you is okay. Rather it is a choice you make to not carry that pain someone has caused you. So here is a positive affirmation you can say when you find yourself in need of getting into the space of forgiveness that is very powerful.

“I’m no longer choosing to carry pain in response to your actions.”

Go to a quiet place where you can be alone and sit with your feelings of anger, guilt, rage or resentment. Feel whatever feelings come up and then gently release them. Say the affirmation above over and over again until you feel a little more at peace.

Always remember that this is a process and it doesn’t always happen instantly. But as soon as you are acknowledging that you WANT to shift your energy to an energy that’s positive and powerful (like forgiveness) you will be guided and healed. We live in a law of attraction based universe. It’s always listening to our desires and intentions and responds to POSITIVE intentions and vibrations. Love, light, joy, gratitude, forgiveness, trust. These are all great emotions to align with after you meditate on your forgiveness affirmation.

It’s also important to understand that in order to carry out all of these positive emotions we have to FORGIVE OURSELVES as well! We are all human beings. We were born with free will and are seriously flawed in our design. We make mistakes. Know that these are lessons that are being given to us for our soul’s growth. We have to fail in order to learn a way to make things better. Like the great Bob Ross says, “mistakes are happy accidents”. Accidents happen all over every day. They are meant to happen in order to lead you in the right direction. The universe is always listening, waiting for you to close the door on your darkness so another door can open to the light. Thank you for reading and I hope this helps. Love and light to all!